Tales of a Tired Girl

Hello Lovelies!

2010-04-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

For those who are checking out my near abandoned blog. I think about regularly posting constantly. It's finding the time to do so. Like right now it's 11:30 pm, I've yet to shower, take out the garbage, or let in the dogs (oops).

OH and the most important part...

READING YOUR BLOGS!

I can't have a good nights rest without seeing all your lovely faces! Err foods. You know what I mean. I've only got 45,000,000 bagallion left to read. No problemo right?

That whole 6 am wake up is BS anyways.

Adios,

Tired Girl.

Massive Apple

2010-03-24T10:29:00.001-07:00

Huge stack of papers or massive apple?
Originally uploaded by Tired Girl

Begone Sick!

2010-03-24T10:08:00.001-07:00

I've been sick since Sunday. Haven't been to the gym since last Thursday. I'm freakin the hell out.

It's to cold to be outside and my gym has a strict no sick policy. Well at least it's advised to stay home if you are sick.

I want to move! Could spring maybe come a few weeks early? Please?!

Anyways, I had a delish soup/wrap combo I concocted with leftovers. Broth based corn chowder soup and chicken baked in marinara to go in the wrap. Yum.

Oh and that bad boy who I can't seem to find the link to on Flickr. Frick.

Tired Girl.

Lovely!

2010-02-12T11:03:00.001-08:00

THANK YOU
Originally uploaded by Tired Girl

HAPPY FRIDAY WORLD!

It's been a good day. Boss's bought us all lunch. I got flowers (!!) AND chocolate which my coworkers are happily helping me eat. I honestly only wanted the dark chocolate raspberry butter cream. It was an excellent post carrot munching dessert.

Tonight I'll grocery shop, possibly work out, and chill.

Tomorrow Handsome Man doesn't have class which means we won't be late to our couples massage appointment.

Then Sunday I have ALL day to clean and do laundry. Is it weird that I'm looking forward to it? Haha.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is the massive salad I'll be concocting tonight. Romaine and baby spinach as a base. Next you saute yellow peppers in a smidgeon of olive oil with Fiesta Lime Mrs Dash. Add detailed shrimp along with some black beans after those soften. Chop up half an avacado and toss it on with some goat cheese and whatever Mexican dressing if you need any.

Enjoy! I LOVE THIS SALAD. Healthy fats and protein galore!

Woot woot for a great dinner ahead.

Tired Girl.

Been a BAD Gal

2010-02-12T10:38:00.001-08:00

I'm not one that likes to complain out loud. I bitch and whine in my head and on here.

Last night though was another story.

SO I have this new insurance company. The medication I take is expensive and on my former plan, very affordable. I never had to pay a deductible. The new plan requires one. No biggie. I obliged and forked over $70 the first time (last month). Last night at the pharmacy window I pulled up happy as a clam then left hastily in tears. Apparently I have to pay it twice! I didn't budget for this! I pulled into the closest parking lot and called my new insurance provider and proceeded to CHEW the dude out. I'm one that writes down names of who I talk to and have no problem ratting a person out when it effects my income. The man I talked to got a name and date of the woman I talked to who said I only paid the deductible at one time/place.

Now I feel guilty. Hope I didn't get anyone fired.

Later that evening I met up with Mr Man for a little grocery shopping. I was still in my mental breakdown phase and wasn't quite ready for the onslaught of people at the store. Walked from one end to the next of the massive store till I found him. At that point I was in tears. We did our shopping and exited to the car where I completely lost it. I was being incredibly self destructive and looking for blood. Somehow smoking came up (he quit) and I found out he smoked twice yesterday.

Now to me, if you quit, you quit. There is NO GREY AREA. His mother's side of the family are all heavy smokers. When we visit all 6 will be smoking at once in a small living room! I called it "trashy". Mr Man was incredibly offended. I'm sorry Mr Man, but that behavior is disgustingly trashy. Can't you see how that would be in my eyes? Anyways, I get sick as hell when we visit. Summertime ain't so bad. Winter? Awful.

Eventually we made up. I was wrong for insulting his family and losing my shit on a customer service rep.

That was my BAD Gal day. I feel lighter. My head is clear and there are no signs BAD Gal is going to resurface anytime soon.

I'm allowed one of those every so often right?

Tired Girl.

Daily Dose of VC!

2010-02-11T10:46:00.001-08:00

Mouth Sore Causing Deliciousness
Originally uploaded by Tired Girl

Is it just me...

2010-02-11T10:24:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or does pineapple give your mouth sores? Maybe the acidity is causing it, I don't know and am currently to lazy to look it up.

Tired Girl.

Cease the Red Vines

2010-02-04T12:34:00.000-08:00

Does my boss not understand that Red Vines are destroying my diet?

STOP

BUYING

ME

RED VINES!

This isn't funny anymore...

It's like crack to me. Meanies.

Tired Girl.

Carrot Juice: My Coffee

2010-01-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

It's not quite coffee, but it does perk me up. Especially since I hate coffee. Do love my tea though. Lately I've been concerned about stains on my teeth, so I've backed off the tea.

I bought a Breville a few weeks ago. It kicks major vegetable ass. I've really come to love my weird concoctions. This morning was 6 big carrots, two oranges, 4 celery, and the center of a pineapple (the hard part). It's fantastic. I can't stomach green juices yet. The craziest I get is beet and ginger. That shit will F your insides up though haha. As much as I love beets, red poo kinda freaks me out. My blog isn't G rated. I won't hold back. Beware!

Since it's a new year and I put on TWO POUNDS over the holiday's after losing 30, I need to be back on track. Blogging should help.

I'm no where near as interesting as many of the Bloggers I read about.

IE:

I work, gym, home, DONE. Boring!

I didn't go to college, trade school, nada, zilch. All I got is a worthless HS diploma.

My is blah. I'm a desk jockey who stares at two screens for 8 hours straight. It pays the bills and offers benefits. Oh well.

I have no friends. Isn't that pathetic? The few I cared about moved away. Otherwise I refuse to surround myself with the incredibly immature folks I went to school with. I don't identify with the "in crowd". You know the one that parties constantly, blows cash on stupid shit, still lives with Mommy and Daddy, and whines about how tough life is. I hate people like. Hate is strong, but perfectly fitting!

No hobbies. At least no hobbies anymore. I had horses for 10 years. They were my life. I'm still pretty lost without them. Honestly nothing else holds my attention quite like those animals do. Which leads me to say I'm a big animal person. I get along better with critters then I do people. My dogs are a lifesaver. I'd be absolutely alone without them! Plus they are way entertaining!

I live in the Flat Lands of Hades aka ILLINOIS. Better yet, my current residence is in the ghetto of the Chicago southland. The pimps and dealers are fun as heck to watch out the front window. To complete the picture one of my dogs if a Pitbull. Now I just need to wear my pants about 8 inches too low and buy grilz. Or whatever. Being alone so often in my house is a bit unnerving. That's why I have a big tough Pitty. She's my sweetie till someone is prowling around outside. Then my girl does a whole 180 and goes on watch. It's comforting knowing someone has my back. I lock the door when I shower and I never sleep without my phone within reaching distance. Paranoid much? Better safe then sorry!

Idk what else to put. I'll come by later!

Effin Hate

2009-12-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

Anything Bloggy at the moment.

I'm so selfish.

I wanted to win that damn contest so bad.

Tired Girl.

Alas, my dear Blog, I'm home!

2009-07-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I choose to ignore you quite so often. I'm sorry for shunning you like a redheaded stepchild. I was (err am) convinced you possibly bring me bad luck. Which is why I'll change up my format.

Instead of blogging about my boring as shit life, how about how I'm attempting to change it?

IE:

Starting reading health blogs!
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Because of those blogs I have accomplished the following:

-Lost 10 lbs.
-Found motivation to visit the gym at least three days a week.
-I started seeing a personal Pilates instructor in June!
-Am now eating amazingly satisfying food, but they're all incredibly healthy!
-My skin has cleared up because of my improved diet.
-Last but not least, I'm happier!

I know what I want out of life. I've got the tools and motivation to get it too. Currently I have a goal to lose another 10 lbs. If it doesn't happen by October, oh well. As long as I maintain my current loss and keep attempting to get off this plateau, I'm good!

Earlier this evening I was in a helluva mood. Without SO, my company is limited to two furry pooches. While they are such well behaved but entertaining animals, I seriously miss my man. I've got no one else in this nasty ass place. And I put major emphasis on the NASTY ASS. But OH WELL. I still barely see a glimmer of hope for escaping the burbs. Not that the burbs are a bad place to be in all, but this one is especially awful. Sunday I was harassed by a bunch of Spooks. They were young, obviously poor, and looking for trouble. Then they see this young white girl walking her two pretty dogs as an easy target. I walked as fast as I could away towards the nearest sane, AKA safe looking person. It was over as soon as it started. Otherwise my pups and I had a nice 3 miles walk. I LOVE taking that walk regardless the scary people and dangerous dogs.

Oh yea. Haven't regaled the dog story yet. Well a few weeks ago I drug Mr Man out for a walk. On our last quarterish mile, whilst he was huffing and puffing I noticed a HUGE Pit looking dog staring us down from inside a screen door. Just as I imagined it would happen that damn dog jumped up on the door handle and let himself out. He wasn't a nice dog. Harley as his 90 freakin year old owners affectionately called him snarled and snapped at our entirely too friendly female dogs. Either Harley doesn't like females or just plain doesn't get along with other dogs, I had no intentions of finding out. Mr Man was near giving me a heart attack trying to befriend this roided out beast. His face was within a foot of the gaping jaws! We patiently waited while his owners shuffled out. Harley nearly knocked the fragile woman over! When they eventually did grad him, the pronged collar was inside out. I bit my tongue. The point of a prong collar is useless in that fashion!

Ugh. I honestly don't give a rats ass if you are 90 or 9, some dogs AREN'T meant for the general population. Who in their right minds would sell such a dog, even as a puppy, to an old and obviously weak couple? The dog is almost dangerously unsocialized. Unfortunately I can't see Harley's life ending well a this point. Either the owner will die or he hurts someone. A dog like that needs work. When there a millions of good, work free dogs out there, he will fall short of making it into the non-kill shelter.

Sorry Charlie. Harley.

You've gotta shape up or ship out.

But for now, I think I'll ship out. I'm tired. So tired in fact I'm to damn lazy to proof this baby.

Mmk?

I've now just realized this is nothing different then an old blog post. FML.

Tired Girl.

Dewy

2009-05-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

Is that how you describe the smell of spring foliage after a steady shower? Or is it musty? I don't know. It smells wonderful though. The sound of the soft rain is just as marvelous. It's my own private symphony. Minus the snarling dogs. Needle Nose and Little Bitch are busy chewing on each other again. So when I absent mindly reach down to pet one of my annoying canine's I receive a hand full of smelly slobber instead of a silky coat. Silky slobber. Bleck.

Needle Nose and I had another great walk today. Even when two dogs burst out of their yard and charged us. While I was spazzing a bit, she was a-ok. She's such a friendly, happy go lucky animal. There were a few young boys walking around and she was absolutely thrilled to see kids. I bet she belonged to a family with children. Too bad she ran away. Or maybe they dumped her. I don't know, but I sure do feel bad for whoever is missing her. It's nice to call her mine though. My sweet autistic Collie lol. Little Bitch is jealous as hell over her. It's next to impossible to pet one without touching the other. While I do love my Trixie, the excessing licking drives me batshit! The middle of the night lick fest is the worst. I swear I can hear her doing it from the other side of the house. If I wasn't home alone I'd sleep with my doors shut. Alas I'll deal with a pillow over the head. That usually works. I fell asleep like that last night. The click clack of nails on hardwood was barely heard.

I must get into bed earlier tonight. When alone in this house, I have the hardest time making myself get into bed. I was tired but I wasn't. I'd rather stare at the TV till the couch sucks me into sleep. Oh and it did. I kept waking myself up to get in the shower, fold clothes, do something. Eventually I succeeded in bathing myself, but that's about it. Actually at this very moment I'm feeling that sucking action the couch uses to lull me into a stupor. Must... fight... i.. t...

Blogging about my unimportant life is a much needed excuse to not pry my ever growing ass from the couch. Right now with my TV off and windows open, I can hear my neighbor chatting on the phone. Her voice carries as much as mine does. I cringe at how loud I yell at Needle Nose on occasion. That damn dog is just too yappy! It was the airplanes today. They torment her. For once I didn't hear a what I constitute as BarkORama. It's when Beau the fat black lab with a broken voice goes at it with the Boxer. Then my two morons join in. Lets not forget Bam Bam the barky as fuck Pitbull. I swear you can hear what's going on for miles. The dogless neighbors must want to shoot themselves. I know I want to strangle them! Nothing is more annoying then a dog that won't stop. The Collie will shut up. I've got proof. It will be an amazing day when we move, preferably somewhere quiet and country. The dogs will be clueless as to what deserves a good barking. I can't wait for that day! Everyone needs to quite teasing me with houses that they found, saw, or looked at. My jealousy is at an all time high!

SO deserves a new place. He's been through enough. I'll do what I can to make this one better though. Hopefully it won't take forever to sell this dump. I'd die of shock if we got it sold within 6 months. Keel over and die! I know property is moving, abliet slowly. There is this silly train of though that runs through my mind each and every morning during my commute to work. I think about what I'd do if I won the lottery, preferably more then $100,000,000. First thing I'd do would be to pay off SO car, our house, and my car. I'd close his open credit accounts and get him out of debt. Next would be to put a new roof and patio the backyard. Then I'd hire someone to tile the kitchen/back room floor and put this fucker on the market! That's it. While it's empty and waiting to sell, we'd be having a ball house hunting, picking and choosing. I require a HUGE and I mean GINORMOUS backyard. Fenced for the dogs. A country setting would be ideal. The house would have 4 bedrooms, 4 baths, three stories with a walkout finished basement. The kitchen would be stainless steel and incredible. Has to have an open floor plan. Otherwise entertaining guests would be difficult. I need coffered ceilings and/or vaulted. Aside from bedrooms there needs to be an office and secluded living room of sorts. My neighbors in Manteno had one. I love the floor plan of their house. SO would have his very own garage and above it a studio. I absolutely require a private space for him to think and create. If the property is big enough, I may one day add a horse or two. Though I think raising children would be my first priority. Lets hope that doesn't happen for 5 more years ok? Thanks.

I can't remember why I started writing this blog now. Originally I was upset over the fact that SO has to spend yet another birthday alone and miserable. How fucking awful. Gosh I'd love to fuck up some faces at his HQ's. Heartless bastards. You work that man to death enough. Anywho, I realize I have no point to blogging other then it's a journal of sorts. Any random though may pop up and be published. Unlike SO's blog which is full of angst and hate. It has purpose. Almost too much. Maybe I'm just to whimsical to appreciate the utter negativity I encounter over yonder. I can only deal with so much. It's not only unhealthy but breaks my heart knowing his thoughts congregate around such things. Can't he ever write about something other then our failing, floundering society? Doubtful. I can't hold a candle to what he writes though. There's no room for me to talk.

Damn. About a thousand different tangents and I again fail at saying what I meant too. I've officially given myself a headache.
I quit.

Tired Girl.

Noses

2009-04-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

I love wet, shiny, black noses. Especially when they snuffle you. Even more so when you're dozing on a glorious spring afternoon outside. Nothing was wrong, there was no barking, it was a just a very tender reminder of how much that certain moist schnoz loves you. Puppy love is a beautiful thing. Normally I'd be peeved being woke up, but nope, not today.

Waking up early on the weekend seems to let the day drag on. Not that I want it to end, just be later in the evening. It was a lovely one last night. I certainly wouldn't mind a repeat! SO is so happy right now. I love seeing that big goofy smile. And he was singing last night! Oh how I missed that! He has such a great voice and doesn't even know it. If only he'd practice more and get a little confidence in himself... I know it's in there somewhere. I oughta start secretly invited his old buddies out. There is a whole nuther man in my bed. Or maybe it's just cuz he's darn jolly. Right now him and his buddy are downtown. Hope they are having a good time! I'm glad the weather is holding.

Speaking of weather and spring, our front yard is covered in the absolute cutest little violets. They are the most brilliant shade of purple. Ok duh, they are violets, but these little buggers are even more vibrant then what I've seen in the past. I would love to paint a room those colors one day. With a white, coffered ceiling and chair rail. Rustic hardwood of any type, as long as it has the Old World feel. I most definitely have to have either French Doors or some tall, wide windows. I'm obsessed with natural light. Oh and with natural light another must is sheers. I LOVE sheers. There is an sensual quality to billowing sheers. Seriously. Wouldn't we be lovely creatures if we could dance on the breeze as sheers do? Guess I'm going a little to far with my unusual fascination with sheers haha. That room also needs green. Green as in plant form. Not sure what, but I have an idea. The furniture has to be beachy wood. Teak with cushions printed with a coral colored pattern. There will be book shelves on the walls, full of old books and trinkets. I'm also imaging a window seat in between the selves looking out into a garden. A garden with redbud trees, oaks, willows, and magnolia's. Lavender bushes and mint would creep below that window. I would smell and hear nothing but life from my garden. Now that would be a fine place to spend an afternoon.

Of course I'll likely never have that room, let alone a violet one. Nor a window that looks only into a garden and not someone's backyard. There are a lot of things I'll never have, but I'm ok with it. The things I want a simple want. Nothing ostentatious or overrated. Is a home you aren't afraid to be alone in to much to ask for? How bout a neighborhood where disgusting men don't cat call you through the windows? I don't think so. Maybe a place where friends can be made. Well friends that you can relate too at least. Oh well. I'll deal. I always do.

It's storming now. My lovely spring day has ended.

Tired Girl.

Bitch bitch bitch

2009-02-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

Ron is bitching I haven't updated.

UPDATE

ED.

Booya.

Bear it.

2009-01-14T15:45:00.000-08:00

I want to be like a bear and hibernate all winter. Wouldn't that be sweet? I'd wake up for Christmas and my birthday. Otherwise don't bug me. Then again I'd be going without food, water, or sex for um... a long freakin time! The food and water thing I can deal with. Sex? Hell, gotta have that.

Speaking of that, I think mama bears give birth while hibernating. Absolutely amazing! I'd be all over that. Though that is a bad thing for humans. Child birth should hurt like HELL. Otherwise we'd be completely overrun by Niglet's and Spics, not to mention trailer trash.

Again, while on THAT subject, there was a kid walking to school today in a hoodie. The current temp at the time was ZERO. He had no gloves, hat, jacket, or snow boots. Just a hoodie and jeans. What the FUCK? I'd love to the beat the shit out of his mother for letting that kid go dangerously unprepared to school! He also had no backpack. Raising right that lady is. Damn. Can that be considered child abuse? At least child endangerment. Please Flying Spaghetti Monster give me strength not to terrorize and kill stupid people more then I do now. Minus the killing.

I can't go anywhere right now. My head is going to explode. I DON'T WANT TO BE HOME. When home stops feeling like home that means it's time to move on/out. Unfortunately I can neither afford to live alone nor buy furniture for 5 more months. I might just drive on the nearest cliff. That might be an issue with the roads the way they are. I knew I'd regret selling my truck for a compact car. Everyone told me I would and wow, for once I agree! It's the thought of 30mpg that keeps me going. Well I could total the thing if worse comes to worse. I don't think insurance companies fall for the "oh I don't like my car anymore" excuse. Thank goodness I have decent health insurance if that day should ever come.

The sound of snowmobiles wizzing by kinda sounds like a cat being run over. Maybe those are really shitty snowmobiles? Anywho I'm jealous and would love to drive one on the monster drifts there are today. Almost like jet ski's, but better! That would be a sweet birthday gift. One day I'm going to talk that crabass cousin of mine into letting me ride one of his. He has plenty of them.

Alright. I'm off to go be cold and lonely some more.

Tired Girl.

Ode to January

2009-01-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

I love you January. Your cold. Your absolute bitter cold. The snow. The ice. Everything.

You complete me!

Once Christmas is over, I magically transform back into a happy human being. I had nothing to be unhappy about. At all. I'm just one finicky gal.

Happy Hump Day folks. Now Friday can't get here soon enough...

Tired Girl.

Not cool.

2008-12-21T15:52:00.001-08:00

I absolutely hate myself. One, I haven't left the house all day. Two, I pretty much haven't left my bed. And three, I ate pancakes this morning. Alone. I ate pancakes and feel like a complete cow since no one else will be bovine with me.

It's bitterly cold. So frigid in fact, the inside our of front door is frosted. Isn't that lovely? This is typical January/February weather, not December! Though according to the almanac the rest of winter should be pretty mild. I can handle that. It would be fabulous if I got that automatic starter on my Christmas list. No longer shall I walk the 3 yards to my chilly Corolla. Woot. Can't wait for that day!

Looks like I'll be spending another Christmas alone. Nothing new. Even worse since my mother's side of the family decided they'd rather go elsewhere. That's a first in erhm, forever? I hope their ham is cold. Baahumbug. My Christmas spirit is gone. I had it full force up until last week. Guess it got blown away in the arctic air.

Ok. I'll go crawl back in my hole and be miserable.

TiredGirl.

Doody

2008-12-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

Howdy Doody.

I smell like fabric softener. With Febreeze. I constantly wonder how those very chemicals we love so much are destroying our bodies. If I could afford to go green, I would.

FYI for my NON-EXISTENT readers:

Hi. I back.

Tired Girl.

Again.

2008-08-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

It hurts worse this time. I trusted him.

And now it's over.

I'm taking this a helluva lot worse then I ever have. I haven't eaten a thing all week. The thought of food revolts me. I look like I'm about to die and sure feel that way.

Why can't someone love me and STAY with me? It's the normal girls that can't find it I tell ya.

Damn I'm naive.

And dumb. Though I think they both fall into the same category haha.

Tired Girl.

Yikes!

2008-05-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a while! My bad kids. I have not forgotten about this Blog. It's more along the lines that my life is so incredibly boring at the moment, I fail to see the reason to update it.

Since I'm no longer involved with horses, things have kinda started to regain normalcy. I like it, but I dislike it at the same time. Was that strong lingo enough? Get my point? After all the excitement and terror, I'm so unbelievably bored it isn't funny. Job hunting is futile. They just don't seem to exsist at the moment. Though I did see one in the Classified today that maybe promising. Selling Amish furniture should be a blast! Gag.

ETA:

I couldn't stand to read that shit anymore, so I deleted it. Bahaha.

Tired Girl.

Essay Smesshay

2008-05-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I hate writing on subjects I absolutely cannot relate to. Ok, maybe I shouldn't be trying to get into an artsy school, but heck, it's the only option I have that I LIKE at the moment. Being a picky bitch has it's drawbacks.

This is what I'm suppose to write about...

"Risk-taking is a part of the creative process. To break new ground or to veer in a new direction requires a certain blend of courage and "blind faith", a hopeful confidence that your message will be heard and understood, and - most importantly - valued by others.

Many successful artists, musicians, performers, writers, entrepreneurs, filmmakers, producers, etc., take creative risks to move their artform forward, and, while many risks have proved successful (maybe even revolutionary), it's also true that just as many have flopped. Whether exploring a new idea or form, proposing a show, writing a grant proposal, or presenting their work to the public, the greatest artists have faced rejection and were forced to find ways to persevere.

Big or small, tell us about a time in your creative or artistic life when you were criticized for your creative decisions or told "no". Did you abandon your new idea? Refine your new idea? Or did you reject the criticism and proceed full speed ahead? Tell us about your though process during this time. Do you regret not following through on your idea? Or are you now grateful you didn't go out on such as precarious limb? How do you think the criticism or denial affected the further development of your creative work?"

(I'd Italic this all, but still haven't fine tuned myself to Blogger yet)

Yea. It's not going well so far. I'm absolutely the most unartistic person on the planet. But creative? Yea. Just not in a sense a normal person can relate to.

Well I've given myself till Sunday to complete this essay. I'm pretty sure Columbia has rolling admissions. God I hope they do. I also hope they take normal, non-artsy/brilliant/musical/whatever people.

Tired Girl.

Unlucky.

2008-04-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

I am cursed. Or at least this farm is.

Yesterday morning went off with no hitch until I put Chewy and Buddy out in the back, which is right next to the mare's field. That is when I noticed a horse laying down, away from the herd. Immediately that cold, dread feeling gripped me. Since it was a very dark horse, I called out a few names. "I THINK SO?" and I saw her poke her head up from the crowd about an acre away. "RAVELLI GIRL?" and she looked at me too. "ANNA?" No head popped up. No movement from the downed horse. Anna had past away sometime Friday night. There were no lightning marks on her, or any outward sign of what caused her death. I'm assuming it was a stroke or heart attack. She was in the middle 20s and that sort of death isn't uncommon, though she was perfectly healthy all Friday. Poor Anna. I liked that mare so much. She was the Selle Francais that was imported as a youngster. Her owned showed her in the hunters till she blew out her suspensory. I guess she was quite the fancy winner back in the day.

After a few tears and a final pat, I dug up a tarp and wrapped her up so the other horses would leave her be. I was also a bit nervous about the coyotes bothering her body since the renderer is notorious for being at least 24 hours out. RIP Anastasia.

Since I still had to feed the outside mare's, I did, but Anna decided to die near the gate and everyone was scared of her body. Well I drug all but Precious in. She was to busy being a nutty 2y/o. The damn filly finally came up as I was putting the rest of the girls out. I put her in a stall, gave her grain, and walked away. 10 minutes later I get a phone call from the hired help saying Precious went over the fence and is bleeding. Fanfreakingtastic. I get out to the field where she is running madly, though completely lame. I was more concerned about her limping then the blood. AN HOUR later I caught the bitch, cleaned her up, and attempted to sedate her, until she knocked the needle into my arm (which hurt like hell). In my fury I stabbed the needle in her neck, let her freak out, and plunged in the Ace. She was nice and loopy after that. I couldn't get a hold of my vet, so I did my best doctoring and will just keep it clean till Monday, when he will be out.

Isn't it a nice way to live out my last two days at the barn? NOT. I just don't get it. My luck with the damn critters that is.

Gah. And with all the excitement, I didn't go talk to Cookie's real owners. Fuck. Another thing I deal with tomorrow.

Tired Girl.

Vermin.

2008-04-22T21:10:00.000-07:00

I hate coyotes. If I owned a gun, I'd be sitting on my porch picking off the bastards one by one as they strolled on by. Since it's been absolutely gorgeous out for the last week or so, I've turned the heat off and opened windows. Last night I slept with all my four bedroom windows open. It was one of those days where you came in and pull out your teeth so I hit the hay early. Around 2am I was jarred awake by those disgusting creatures screaming their bloody fucking heads off. Of course Cookie jumps right out of bed (she sleeps next to me) and starts to howl in that husky Lab voice. Way to get my adrenaline pumping!

Being the paranoid nut I am, I sleep with a massive Maglite under my bed that is bright enough to illuminate tree trops. So I whipped that out and counted 13 coyotes. That is a HUGE pack. Biggest I've ever heard of around here! Typically they stick to smaller groups, but being breeding season and all, I guess the rules get bent. And they've never gotten that close to the house before. I'm sure they were on their way to bother the horses since I left the doors open. Great, but thank goodness there isn't a foal around. They'd chew through walls to get a baby.

Now I need to sweet talk my redneck hunter friends to stake out the farm one night. I'll provide the bait and beer if they provide the bullets.

Tired Girl isn't fucking around anymore!

Finally.

2008-04-20T11:42:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the start of my last full week here. As much as I've hated it, I've loved it. It was a great experience that will look wonderful on any future resume. I'll miss waking up in my OWN house, totally silent, doing my own thing, making my own food, looking out at the property knowing that I helped make it beautiful. It's been fun, but I'm glad it's over.

Cookie, the dog who adopted me, is currently sleeping at my feet. She is the best dog ever. Really. Right now she stinks like sweaty dog who jumped into the creek this morning, but is still just the nicest critter. She loves me and I'm starting to love her. Now I have no idea how keeping her will work out or if I even can. Ugh, just another thing I need to stress out about.

This is me!

It was bad.

2008-04-15T14:22:00.000-07:00

Last week that is. Tuesday night was spent out with the vet sewing up Lady's leg, which she sheared down to the bone. Stupid 2y/o filly. Thankfully this won't impact her racing career next fall. I got out of the barn around 12:30am and plopped myself into bed, no shower.

7:05am Foal Alert called my phone. "FUCK" was the first thing that came to mind as I stumbled out of bed, down the stairs, into some clothes, and finally down to the barn 3 minutes later. Twoey's water had broke and she has given absolutely no indication of foaling up until that point. The vet even checked her the day before. At 7:12am a pretty chestnut filly took her first breath. It was a red bag birth (broke inside that mama, full of blood) and I did help that little girl out. Except something just wasn't quite right with this filly. I immediately thought she was a dummy (Dummy Foal Syndrome), but gave her time to settle in. After the first hour, she had not gotten up, even with my help. At the 2nd hour I freaked and had the vets out in 40 mins (it's very important to have colostrum in their system within 3 hours). Dr Dawn said that the filly needed to be hauled somewhere right away after looking at her for roughly 45 seconds. An hour later Twoey, filly, and I were on our way to Purdue. When we got their an hour and a half later, filly's temp wasn't registering on the term. A team of senior vets and students were working on her right away. Dr Uberti and Dr Couetil were wonderful. I couldn't remember the name of the student or the techs, but they were equally as great. Twoey was being an angel. She knew her baby was sick. I left after an hour or so, knowing I wasn't bringing two horses home. Filly was put down the next day because of her multiple organ failure. She had septicimia, which started in Twoey. There was no way of knowing that the mare had an infection without drawing blood. So the poor little filly was dying before she was even born. Gosh she was so beautiful too.

RIP Nameless Filly. I wouldn't let myself name her unless she came home. It sounds heartless, but it's easier.

I have two mares due in two weeks. Both will have blood drawn and be on anti-bios big time. I'm not losing another one.

Sadly the horse side fails me once again. I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone die. Even though the filly's death was out of my control, I still feel as though I could have done more.

My father called yesterday about a job for me. His best buddy growing up manages a multi-million dollar farm down in KY, full of racehorses. It is owned by a sheik of Dubia and absolutely incredible. I don't know what I'd be doing down there, but at this time, I don't want it. I'm so burned out of horses. They break my heart.

And I've only got two more weeks with the animals.

Tired Girl.

My baby.

2008-04-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

The last 24 hours have been awful. Boss's 2y/o Thoroughbred sliced open her leg down to the bone sometime late afternoon. The vet came out around 7pm since and left at 10pm. We had to lay her down and the Catamine takes a while to wear off, which is why he was there so long. While he was there he checked on Twoey, since she was due to foal last Sunday. He said she had a few more days on her.

Well that was a lie. The mare foaled at 7:12am this morning. My Foal Alert went off at 7:05am and I was down there 3 minutes later.

Yikes!

2008-04-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

What I failed to mention in my last blog is that one of my broodmares is about to foal. Yay! Babies are so much fun, yet so unbelievably stressful. Thinking of it freaks me out, which has lead me here to update my imaginary readers. I had a mini-episode last night when I realized how much could go wrong. The mare, Twoey, has a special monitor sewn in so when her water breaks, the monitor seperates and sends a signal out to call my phone. It's called Foal Alert and it's fucking awesome. That means no sleeping in the barn for me! Twoey's due date was yesterday. I'm thinking a new baby will be here by Thursday. Just one of those feelings I get.

Tired Girl.

Pig.

2008-04-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

I woke up to a ladybug crawling into my nose. No joke. Actually I think it was a manbug since it was yellow and stinky. That might have been an indication it wasn't going to be a good day. Usually on Sunday's I sleep in a bit since I don't have to beat the stall cleaner out to the barn. That fucking bug disturbed me to the point I got up 2 hours earlier. So I settled in on the couch with my new favorite concoction of oj and cranberry juice with a side of buttered wheat toast. Don't knock the blend till you try it. I love them together. After checking all my websites and snoozing, I went down to feed. Thing went quick today. Most everyone was good except for a select few mares that didn't want to eat this morning. Weirdos.

Then I came in because being outside depresses me. Yes I know I'm crazy not to enjoy the 65 degree, sunny Sunday, but I'm not. I live on a horse farm without a horse of my own to love on and ride. What the fuck. Yesterday I could have almost cried. It brought back memories of my beloved Haley who died 6 years ago in November. She is the one horse I would have kept forever. Even my parents, as non-horsey as they are, adored Haley. They would have footed her bills for as long as she lived. I wanted my kids to learn to ride on that mare. Damnit. She was a once in a lifetime horse I'll never get back. Honestly I haven't rode a horse I loved and trusted as much as Haley. Tommy was a good boy and nice ride, but he couldn't stay sound. He was too skittish for my parents and friends to be around too. Though if I had the chance to get him back, I would. Maybe he's mature into a Steady Eddy.

And that leads me here, on the couch, with no windows open (albeit heat off), alone writing this. I've sufficiently stuffed myself by munching on dry Special K, a bar of Godiva milk chocolate, leftover Chicken Almond Ding for lunch, about 20 Hershey Kisses, and 6 bottles of water. I think that's all I've had. For some reason all I want is chocolate. For the first time ever all I've got is relatively healthy food. I broke into the barn candy dish stock for chocolate and the Godiva bar is quite a few years old. Whoops. I'll just be fat for the rest of my life.

I was doing so well on the veggie diet. Looks like I'll need to start that again on Monday. Which reminds me I need to get more vitamins.

ETA: Ugh. Editing out more sap shit.

Tired Girl.

Lovely.

2008-04-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

What a splendid day. Just glorious. Or maybe it's one of those highs I get before a major crash. I don't know and hope it's not what I suspect.

Since my time as a barn manager is nearly up, I've kinda been on a job hunt. Well something fell into my lap. One of my boarder's owns an insurance company. He pretty much offered me a job yesterday. So I interviewed with his 2nd in command. She hired me. I start May 5th! Now I know nothing of insurance, but am totally willing to learn. All I need to do is study up, take a couple classes, then pass a licensing exam. I sure hope I do well. Testing has never been my thing.

This new job could be my niche. I could be good. Really good. Or be a complete failure like I so easily can be.

Tired Girl.

Liar.

2008-03-27T17:22:00.001-07:00

Mother Nature has made a liar out of us all. She showed her beautiful face for a few days and we proclaimed "SPRING" as the sunshine and warm breeze blew through our hair. Then she decided to throw a curve ball with thunder and snow. Yea. What a bitch.

Tired Girl.

One of those days...

2008-02-21T09:50:00.000-08:00

You know, when nothing goes right. Alarm clock didn't go off, fell down the stairs, horses being bad, and broken shit. I'm so fed up I came in early. The bastards can wait a bit longer to get outside. Oh gosh I'm mad. I didn't even feed the mares because they wouldn't come in.

When will my B-100 kick in? That stuff makes me happy, though I pee neon yellow. I need some Family Guy too. Best show ever!

Tired Girl.

Winter END

2008-02-18T17:46:00.000-08:00

Why won't this winter just give up? It can't make up it's freaking mind. One day it's 50 out, around 30 at night. I can deal with that. BUT not with a 40 degree drop in temp within a day. The poor outside horses. They are already blowing their coats. Good thing I dug out all the blankets a few weeks ago.

Besides hating winter, one poor outside mare, Anna, ripped up her leg somehow last night. She is always one of the first horses ready at the gate when I call for breakfast. When I noticed she wasn't up to eat, I went out and found her standing alone. She wouldn't come when I called, so I walked out further and made he come in. Something was wrong with her right hind. Anna was walking all wonkey in the rear and tried her best not to bear to much weight. I brought her in the heated barn, cleaned off her legs, and found heat and swelling in the fetlock joint. Knowing that she had a career ending injury on that leg (she was a jumper), I called the vet. Doc Dawn thought it was her past injury bothering her until she looked under the blanket, which I failed to do. Anna ripped a chunk out of her stifle area in an unstitchable spot. It had flesh hanging and looked rather nasty. No wonder the poor girl didn't want to walk. So she is on 20cc of penicillin for the next 5 days along with 2 grams of bute till both tubes are used up. Doc will be back in 11 days to do pre-foal vaccinations so she will check on Anna then. The mare definitely pulled something in the leg. Hopefully she didn't damage anything else.

I really like this old mare. She is just the sweetest thing, even if she is quite snarky. Like I low how she opens the gate and walks herself to her stall. Ok, not really, but it's funny. She uses her pretty nose and swings the gate just enough to squeeze through. Usually she does this if I don't bring her in quick enough. I think Anna fails to realize their are 11 other mares just dying to eat.

As much as I hate this job, I sure do love it. If that makes any sense! Alrighty, back to Star Trek!

Tired Girl.

Sniffle and Hack

2008-02-08T19:37:00.000-08:00

Starting Wednesday I felt funny, like pre-flu funny. So I went to bed early (aka 9pm) and proceeded to have an awful nightmare. I say about 3ish I finally got up, covered in sweat, and threw up for a while. Then went back and attempted to sleep. Nope, not happening. I went down stairs, took my temp and had a 103.6. Whew! No wonder I was losing it. A cold shower helped a bit along with some Motrin. At 7am I called my backup barn help and paid her double to cover for me on such short notice. Luckily I had the next three days off, so my fever came at a near perfect time. Now I'm suffering from the sniffles, an ever so annoying ear ache, and the typical nasties.

Besides this lovely sickness, I've discovered a passion for Stargate Atlantis and SG1. It's always been known I'm a bit of a dork but now it's official! I love both shows and am especially raptured by this one character Ronan Dex. Wowzer's is he a hottie.

Oh and at the Doc's today it appears not eating since Wednesday has caused a 7 pound drop in weight. Yay! I'm so only eating once a day from now on.

Tired Girl

Yuck

2008-02-05T11:39:00.000-08:00

That bastard of a groundhog said 6 more weeks of winter. He isn't lying either except it's RAIN. It can't possibly get any muddier on the farm. I can't turn horses out in this mess because with my shitty luck, someone will get hurt. Better yet, a boarder will throw a tantrum over Pooky being covered in mud. Whatever you fucking wack jobs.

If it was my barn, I'd have MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY signs posted every where. Or MY BARN, MY RULES, OR ELSE signs. I like that second one. But alas, it isn't, though I have made my rules clear to most the boarders. I always knew horse people were crazy (IE: Wake up at 3am to ride at 4am to show at 6am in front a judge only to tell you your horse sucks), so what was I expecting? At least a little respect. I bust my butt to keep their horses happy and healthy and all I ask is in return is a check and a little gratitude. Not only did I take this job to help someone out, but over a better one in another state. My dream of finally moving out of the Flat Lands of Hades was halted once again because I'm a pushover. *headdesk*

I think I'd rather have that foot of snow Northern Illinois will get. At least it will be pretty. Ankle deep mud and knee deep snow are just about the same to walk in. Either way it's no skin off my back.

By the way I do realize I bitch a lot. It's just about the only thing I can do in situations like this. I'm quite the trooper sitting back and taking it, but I'm only human and HAVE to vent somewhere.

Tired Girl

The Sleepy Saga begins...

2008-02-02T12:05:00.000-08:00

Today, I accepted the fact that I'm eternally tired. I could close my heavy eyes at 9pm and wake up 24 hours later still unquenched. I'm caught in a drought. When will it rain?

Which leads to this blog. It's my very own pity-party and everyone is invited. Well it won't always be, but I do like to indulge when the melancholy mood strikes. Maybe it's the winter wasteland that bores me to tears or the near subzero temps? Currently the endless white wet stuff burns my eyes. I used to love snow. Someone should have told me growing up takes away all those pleasures we enjoyed as kids. Then I wouldn't have gone so fast. Ah, oh well. Back to the blog and its basis.

I'm bored. Simple as that. I wake up at 7am next to no one, see maybe 4 people while working, and come back home to eat alone and am in bed by 10pm, again alone. A 20 something year old woman such as myself should not be so isolated, but I am.

Hah. At least I can laugh at myself.

Tired Girl